


there are no voices left but his own (and he's totally cool with that)

by deaddennis



Series: things ben solo likes [1]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Complete crack, Crack Treated Seriously, F/M, Humour, I hate it, Rise of Skywalker - spoilers, Therapy, and um wut, but like, just seen the movie, weird humour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-04
Updated: 2020-01-04
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:14:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22120876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deaddennis/pseuds/deaddennis
Summary: the force has whisked him away and dumped him who knows where. let's process that.
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: things ben solo likes [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1592287
Comments: 4
Kudos: 10





	there are no voices left but his own (and he's totally cool with that)

Ben Solo did not die.

He’s pretty sure that he should probably have done. But the Force was not done with him. It spat him out somewhere _and then_ it was done with him.

(The Force, he decides, is a pain in his ass.)

Ben Solo sits on a stone and stares out at the park in front of him. It’s quiet. Early morning, he guesses. In the distance is a huge city with towering towers and scraping skyscrapers.

…

Ben Solo’s face creases up. _Since when_ , he thinks, _were his thoughts so … basic?_

Wait.

He cocks his head.

If any nearby life form can see him, they would think that he was insane. And perhaps he is, or had been. But there are no other life forms. No judgement.

Ben Solo sits on a stone and closes his eyes and _breathes._

There is nothing but peace. And himself. Him, _Ben Solo._

In a moment, the whole universe stretches before him. There are no voices. No whispers of legacy or destiny. His past has crumbled away. Snoke found him as a child, Vadar whispered of destiny, Palpatine … Ben doesn’t want to think of that. And then there was his mother, who lay dead far, far away and yet wasn’t. Who had lodged in his mind from the moment he’d heard her whispered _Ben._ And then Rey had stabbed him, which – in the grand scheme of things, hadn’t felt totally fair as _he_ had been pulling his punches and the _moment_ – the very moment! – his _mother_ chooses to speak to him and his weapon is down and he is unguarded BLAM! Stabbed through the gut.

Wait. Where was he?

Yes. His mother.

Who had taken up a corner of his mind and told him exactly what he should do and why.

And then he’d kissed Rey.

… Ben’s eyes fly open.

_His mother had been there while he’d kissed Rey._

He sits on a stone and is _mortified_.

That was his first kiss. And his _mother was present. In his mind. For it._

And that would have been the last thing she had … (oh kriff) … experienced before she had passed on into the voice. He has a horrified notion of her _telling_ everyone. All the Force ghosts. All of his legacy. Sitting- no, _floating_ there. Laughing. At him.

Well.

He won't care. Nor will he think about it anymore. Nope. Not going to happen.

...

Ben Solo sits on a stone and stares out before him.

 _No more,_ he thinks and his thoughts are his own. Yes, he is a little paranoid that _someone else is talking to him in his head and oh kriff! His mother! EVEN HIS MOTHER HAD BEEN IN HIS HEAD AND WHO IS THIS NEW PERSON THINKING_ … OH WAIT. It’s himself.

Ben Solo. He feels naked. But not in a literal way, because Force knows he wouldn’t want to be naked in a public park …

…

Well maybe he _would,_ he doesn’t _know_.

Okay. Maybe he does.

Naked in a forest with a nice cool pool that he saw once when he had to slay a few rebels and had thought ‘huh, that’s a nice pool’ and then Snoke had interrupted and he’d forgotten the pool.

Perhaps he’ll hunt that pool down and swim in it. Naked.

Ben Solo smiles. Yes, perhaps that’s something he’d like to do.

There’s no one here to catch these thoughts. No one here – in his mind – to tell him he is _weak_. Foolish.

Perhaps he is. And why _shouldn’t_ he be?

Kriff knows what the Force has been up to.

He can’t even _feel_ the Force.

Perhaps he should feel panicked. He doesn’t. He feels relieved. The legacy of the Skywalkers is no longer his. He is Ben Solo and Ben Solo … shouldn’t speak in third person.

Or _should he?_

Ben Solo is hungry. He is dressed in a shirt and black pants and boots. He has no credits. He has no Force, no bond, no voices. Just him.

He has a brain that is his own with no lodgers.

And he doesn’t know what he wants to eat – doesn’t know if it was Snoke who was partial to liquid protein or dragonites-fried-with-herbs or _him_.

Who is Ben Solo?

He intends to find out.

**Author's Note:**

> 1) i watched the movie and my brain was all WUT THE HECK HOW DARE THEY  
> 2) his outfit at the end is BANGING  
> 3) you didn't need to know that but i've told you now  
> 4) this is crack - COMPLETE CRACK  
> 5) it will not be entirely canon. i am a casual fan who is now a casualty of a movie that could have been better  
> 6) this will be a series of one shots  
> 7) i'm sorry  
> 8) if you still read this - thank you.  
> 9) i use far too many ellipses


End file.
